fight or flight on a bike in the night in Cubbon Park

Adam and I have been back one week in Bangalore from taking a three week escapade to Europe, Africa and the U.S. Actually, one week vacay for Adam and I. Two weeks of work for the hubby. For me, relishing in two weeks of rejuvenation in the fall bliss of Minnesota. Taking long walks around the lakes with Dosh, eating at the favorite ol’ hangouts, coffees and lunches with friends, weddings and receptions, grandparent visits and more. Oh, how I now miss and crave for my daily luxuries of  kombucha, farmers markets, lakes...

Anyways, I digress. Back to Bangalore. Awakened to sounds of 24 hr construction of this silicon city, smells of piling garbage, horns, diesel, crowded traffic. Do I miss my home in Minnesota? Absolutely.  Do I wish I were still there? The answer is a surprising no. Despite the craziness of Bangalore, the life outshine here. As quoted from The Marigold Hotel (which by the way is rather spot on to life here in Bangalore) the character of Grahm states after being asked, “What do you see here that I don’t?” and he responds, ‘The lights, the colors, the smiles. It teaches me something.”

Certainly it has taught me something. These are the things that matter. Traffic, we can wait in it. The construction noise? Put on some streaming MPR. The garbage and pollution? Ok, maybe too far. That isn’t so fun. But all the life and light and smiles of all the people, all of India’s many lessons; This is how I am sustained here.

But what happens when it is still night and we venture out into it? More lessons, if not a possible needs for a tetanus shot or loss of a leg… This morning, Adam and I both awoke wide awake at 4:00 am. Our jet lag continues to taunt us. Instead of fight it, we got up and I had another brilliant idea. Let’s try biking again. Really, Lori? Did it really work so well the first time?

Yes, well, no, but this is different. It is before dawn. There won’t be cars. The park will be free of people and traffic, we can cruise to our hearts content. Um. No.  We bravely made our way in the dim light to the park- no problem. As we determined our route, we found that more people were walking at this time of day than expected. Plus, we discovered traffic does not let up outside the park, so we were left with cycling in a 2 mile perimeter. Not exactly Minneapolis trails, here folks.

And what is the one important factor that I left out about biking at 5am? DOGS. Apparently, before dawn, India streets are a dog’s domain. Don’t mess. We began on a fairly open stretch of pavement and I began to speed up, feeling a baby rush of biking again outdoors. No sooner did I speed up that I passed five sleeping stray dogs. Normally, when passing on foot or jogging they remain asleep. But, they were not use to a single lamp and swishing of my bike tires in the night. They began to surround and chase me, bare their teeth, bark and move closer and closer to my pumping ankles. All I could think to do was bark back and keep biking. I barked, “NO! NO! NO! NO!” over and over again, until they let up. Upon their dismissal and boredom of scaring the living life that I appreciate here out of me, I turn around to see my husband who had been a bit behind me and had not yet passed the dogs. The dogs were settled down again and curled up for a nap, while Adam slowly walked his bike up to join me.

He said, “Wow. That was scary!” Really, Babe? You were scared? You were so gallant and brave to come save me or scare away the dogs yourself? Thanks for your manly protection? Just climb off your bike and walk your bike, while my leg is being chewed off. Really, I am fine. Thanks,love. Love you too. Now I know how you respond to a life or death situation. Save yourself. Sure.

I tell this parable not to toss my husband under the bus (like he did me!) or to ridicule my husband for his own self sacrifice, but really as a lesson on stress. As in previous posts, I like to reflect on stress as I think it is something every American faces more often than most, and yet it is not discussed as being a major cause to a lot of distress in our life.

This morning I really did fight and flight as a response to an immediate stressor. But what about the times, when we are faced with an internal stressor that we cannot get up and run from? As we sit in a meeting? Mis-communicate with our partner? When the stress remains subconsciously tucked away? What happens when stress sits and we can’t fight or flight? The stress festers. Dis-ease and disease happen.

I am currently taking an online graduate course on Integrative Health and Healing through the University of Minnesota. So far in all of the ancient traditional healing forms we have studied there is a focus on stress being a major cause of disease. In Chinese Medicine, our “Qi” or energy flow is often blocked in certain parts of our body due to stress. This blockage can cause and lead to many forms of disease (in my case digestive and chronic headaches). So then what?

In the past few weeks, I have gained knowledge on coping with stress from wise souls in India and in the U.S. My yoga teacher, Devenand, shared with us that stress in itself is not so much stressful, but it is our perception of stress that causes our discontention within ourselves. How can we prevent stress? We can’t in some regards, i.e. the chasing dogs, but as Davenand says we can “expect and the accept” that stress is a part of our lives. This doesn’t mean living in anticipation of the negative to occur, but it does we accept the ups and downs that are inevitable.  We can create a space for them.

For me, my headaches came about from not expecting or accepting the stress. I thought it was worth it to try and have control and perfect situations. Fat chance of that happening in Bangalore, let me tell ya. In India, women often cook with pressure cookers-A cooking vessel with a tight lid and whistle top. When the water is sufficiently boiled the whistle top blows off. This is what stress is like. We have a certain threshold and amount we can take before we blow. This is followed by suffering in physical, spiritual or mental illness.

I think in India, there is a difference in stressors in the fact that stressors appear more obvious. In the U.S. in many of our lives, we don’t anticipate the traffic to come to a halt on our morning commute. In Bangalore, there appears to be fewer accidents because the crazy drivers making up their own rules are expected and accepted. Traffic is a part of everyday life, so how can we get stressed about it?

In the U.S. I find myself blessed with a life that flows fairly “free”: of traffic: good jobs, good friends, lovely home, amazing nature, etc. But yet, stress was often self created in the world of the “shoulds.” Here in Bangalore, Adam and I sometimes take the full weekend to do nothing. Nothing. To do nothing is something, I think. At home, five minutes would go by on a Sunday morning, and guilt would overcome us to go to church, or the farmer’s market, to Target, or the “shoulds”. We should do this. We should do that. I mentioned this to our friend Matt at dinner when we were home in Minneapolis. He spoke words I won’t forget. He said, “Should” doesn’t need to be in the picture. If you want to do something or need to something, then do it. Otherwise, forget it.  “Shoulds” just continue the stress cycle.

Loving Being Home in the U.S.A.

Next time I ‘should’ know better than to cycle at 5am amidst packs of street dogs. But, even if I don’t make this same mistake twice, I am pretty sure India will throw another stress ball my way. I will expect and accept it with all my heart. I can say this confidently in the light of the day anyways.