I love to give gifts at Christmas. In fact, I usually go painstakingly over the top to please the gift recipient- Creative little bundles of objects bound up to represent my appreciation and love.
In my first Bangalore Christmas, I was reminded that love doesn't come from the gifts under my Charlie Brown Christmas tree.(Although, they can be nice symbols of love- it is not love in itself). True love is not give and take. It is giving in an untranslatable, pure form.
I have never felt so humbled as I do this Christmas in receiving love from others, with no ribbons attached. The love keeps coming at me- despite being a human, a far off acquaintance, a complete stranger, a guest, or an American. So many Bangalorians I encountered this week simply gave of their time, service, hospitality and presence to me and did not ask for anything in return. This felt like the greatest present of all, especially when most of my dearest loved ones are at home.
Once such bout of unrequited love occurred when Adam and I were invited to Christmas from a friend of a friend of a friend whom I had met briefly over a coffee. She in fact invited any and all "stragglers" who were not bound to their homes for Christmas. At first, I thought she was being "Minnesota Nice" but then realized she was not from Minnesota! She opened her beautiful farmhouse up to us, two of our ex-pat friends and twenty other strangers and friends combined.
An amazing setting of hor d'oeurves and drinks by a camp fire with a Western traditional meal of ham, scalloped potatoes, sweet potatoes complete with ''mallows" and a litany of sweets were served. Dinner started at the non traditional time of 10:30pm. Salad was last and I swear I had 5 servings of spinach salad, a rarity in Bangalore! Adam had 5 servings too...of cookies,pie and cakes. She toasted the evening with a speech I will not forget. She said, "Thank you to each of us for being there and how wonderful an opportunity it is to "embrace the differences in all gathered" to accept one another in all our glorious, unique differences, representing worlds of people gathered at one table. It was a beautiful night- humbled by kind hearts gathered there It seemed like even the horses and stars were smiling this night.
Another example of extraordinary kindness came when we went to Christmas Eve mass at the Basilica of St. Mary's near a bustling market. What strange sights to see as we approached the beautiful lit church in neon greens, yellows and pinks where a Santa Claus stood amongst the manger. We believed we were about to attend an English mass at 9:30pm, but soon realized it was in the language of Tamil, a neighboring state. What was more surprising was the electric keyboard beats of polkas, hip hop and more to a different language and only once making out a "Gloria in excelsis deo." The distortion of the mics and loud feedback made for an early departure, but no one could say the evening was forgettable.
As we were leaving we had to sadly almost step over beggars on the street who lay near the church asking for alms. Lo and behold we heard a Ho! Ho! Ho! amidst the sounds of a busy market selling mangoes, roasted corn and plastic Christmas trinkets- and an Indian Santa Claus drove up on his moped and began to distribute candy to the poor as well as all the children around. As we were about to leave, a woman and her beautiful baby (selling bunches of balloons with "Happy New Year" on them) looked at into my eyes deeply and instead of asking for rupees which I expected, held out her hand and offered me the one piece of candy Santa had given her. Giving without an expected return once again.
Deeply gratified and humbled oozed its way into the Skype world and across miles after seeing and hearing my entire Vander Poel family, 12 smiling faces in all, sing brightly, "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." Feeling so much love didn't prevent me from my first bout of homesickness in the days to follow as my nephew so pointedly said, "it feels like something missing with you two not here."
Yearning for family, and craving for my pups, Dosh, who provides ceaseless affection for me. I want to be teleported for just 48 hours to snuggle with my puppy and family.
In my first Bangalore Christmas, I was reminded that love doesn't come from the gifts under my Charlie Brown Christmas tree.(Although, they can be nice symbols of love- it is not love in itself). True love is not give and take. It is giving in an untranslatable, pure form.
I have never felt so humbled as I do this Christmas in receiving love from others, with no ribbons attached. The love keeps coming at me- despite being a human, a far off acquaintance, a complete stranger, a guest, or an American. So many Bangalorians I encountered this week simply gave of their time, service, hospitality and presence to me and did not ask for anything in return. This felt like the greatest present of all, especially when most of my dearest loved ones are at home.
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| Adam and his Target Friends Jayme and Cliff. |
An amazing setting of hor d'oeurves and drinks by a camp fire with a Western traditional meal of ham, scalloped potatoes, sweet potatoes complete with ''mallows" and a litany of sweets were served. Dinner started at the non traditional time of 10:30pm. Salad was last and I swear I had 5 servings of spinach salad, a rarity in Bangalore! Adam had 5 servings too...of cookies,pie and cakes. She toasted the evening with a speech I will not forget. She said, "Thank you to each of us for being there and how wonderful an opportunity it is to "embrace the differences in all gathered" to accept one another in all our glorious, unique differences, representing worlds of people gathered at one table. It was a beautiful night- humbled by kind hearts gathered there It seemed like even the horses and stars were smiling this night.
Another example of extraordinary kindness came when we went to Christmas Eve mass at the Basilica of St. Mary's near a bustling market. What strange sights to see as we approached the beautiful lit church in neon greens, yellows and pinks where a Santa Claus stood amongst the manger. We believed we were about to attend an English mass at 9:30pm, but soon realized it was in the language of Tamil, a neighboring state. What was more surprising was the electric keyboard beats of polkas, hip hop and more to a different language and only once making out a "Gloria in excelsis deo." The distortion of the mics and loud feedback made for an early departure, but no one could say the evening was forgettable.
As we were leaving we had to sadly almost step over beggars on the street who lay near the church asking for alms. Lo and behold we heard a Ho! Ho! Ho! amidst the sounds of a busy market selling mangoes, roasted corn and plastic Christmas trinkets- and an Indian Santa Claus drove up on his moped and began to distribute candy to the poor as well as all the children around. As we were about to leave, a woman and her beautiful baby (selling bunches of balloons with "Happy New Year" on them) looked at into my eyes deeply and instead of asking for rupees which I expected, held out her hand and offered me the one piece of candy Santa had given her. Giving without an expected return once again.
Deeply gratified and humbled oozed its way into the Skype world and across miles after seeing and hearing my entire Vander Poel family, 12 smiling faces in all, sing brightly, "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." Feeling so much love didn't prevent me from my first bout of homesickness in the days to follow as my nephew so pointedly said, "it feels like something missing with you two not here."
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| Two Friends at a Christmas Feast. |
Alas, here I am. Thank you to all of you who provide me with so much love and affection and gave me an opportunity to feel the true spirit of Christmas.
A gesture, a thought, an invitation, a kind stare (Indians don't normally glance, they hold your eyes for an eternity, I have noticed- I love that.) I am blessed and humbled with these gifts of thanksgiving that offer a lifetime warranty, with no "store credit only" returns needed.
Ho! Ho! Ho! and a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from the Vander Poels!
Ho! Ho! Ho! and a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from the Vander Poels!
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| Lori and Bangalore horsey. |
Love u!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful!
ReplyDeleteIndeed, it'll be a Christmas you'll never forget, and you'll come back to appreciate the love of your family even more.
ReplyDeleteSending you more love from Austin!
P.S. I gotta hear more about the music at the Basilica!