“Good Morning, Good Evening”

This phrase has become so common that it actually has made it into my daily routine.  Whether I’m speaking with family or co-workers, it’s a simple, but nice way to show you are doing what you can to put yourself on their side of the world.  While I’m walking to work at 8am in Hong Kong, I often speak with my parents in the US who are just about to sit down for dinner at 6pm.  Or when I’m talking with colleagues on a conference call at 10pm, they are often just getting into the Minneapolis office at 8am (fresh and ready to go with their morning coffee!).  

I have the luxury (or torture) of knowing what the freezing cold winter in MN feels like, but many of those I speak to have not made it over to Hong Kong and do not know what the weather is like, nor what we experience on a daily basis. However, those that make an effort to show awareness, compassion and understanding often try to put themselves in others shoes.  I personally find that this is not easy to do, yet it is a skill I’m trying to improve at.  I find that natural curiosity, asking questions and being interested in other cultures and backgrounds is a helpful way to start a connection and find a common ground.  The American mindset is often one that can be self-focused.  We have an expectation for others to know about us, but how much do we actually know about other cultures?  How much do we care to know? 

I recently was in China for work and found myself needing to ask someone a simple question.  In the business park our office is located, there was an information desk with a friendly young woman waiting to help.  I walked up and said ‘ni hao’ (hello) using the little Chinese I know.  Then asked her ‘Do you speak english?’ thinking that someone at an information desk must.  She smiled and as I waited for her to say yes, she responded with a friendly ‘No, do you speak Chinese?’ (note: her little amount of english was said with perfect clarity).

Lori and I are nearing year two of our living abroad journey.  We have been blessed with many experiences.  Learning about the complexities and similarities of other cultures and meeting people from around the world has easily been the best part.  The benefit of the US is that it’s a melting pot of these cultures.  People from various backgrounds, virtually every country, sub-cultures within a global culture.  It’s all there.  What can you do to experience and learn more about other cultures?  Or share with others about yours?

We are close to the 6 month mark in Hong Kong and enjoying the food, people and wonderful hiking trails.  This will be our second Thanksgiving spent abroad (last year we celebrated in Bangalore).  We are lucky to be spending this year with good friends we’ve met in Hong Kong and thankful for the continued life adventures.  

Happy Thanksgiving!

Different but the Same

Lori and I have been in Hong Kong for three weeks now.  We have had a whirl wind past 6 months, in a good way, but nonetheless it has been a massive transition.  We’ve been on more planes and in more time zones than I can completely remember.  We actually had spring ahead in Minnesota in March and fall back in New Zealand in April.  With all that said, we are finally here and really enjoying it. 

One thing I’ve learned in the past several months is how adaptable we can be as humans.  Your body self adjusts to different time zones, various climates, food varieties and to your overall surroundings.  One seems to find a way to make it work.  When I’m in Bangalore, the flow of life is a bit slower, in a good way.  Yet the senses are often on an overload.  In Minneapolis, things are a bit faster, but life tends to have more of a comfortable equilibrium.  So far, I’ve found Hong Kong to be fast.  People walking down the street fast, talking fast, eating fast, there is a high energy and a speed to life here.  They have a determined mindset and appear to be a culture of hard work, long hours and focused thought. 

What is amazing to me is that there are such differences in people and places throughout the world, but we all seem to strive for similar things: a nice home, family and friends, meaningful work, connectivity to a community - something bigger than ourselves.  There are and always will be things that make us different: language, thought process, approach.  But there is so much that makes us the same: love, care, recognition, connections.  The beauty is mixing these together.  Whether this is in a work setting or in life, there is so much that people from different backgrounds can learn from each other, teach one other and share to enrich our experiences. 

We had a cultural training the other day as part of our transition as we continue to be immersed in the local culture.  One thing that stuck me was a comment from our trainer.  She said, “When I first started cultural training, I used to focus on the differences in people and cultures, now I actual focus more on the similarities”.

I’m going to make an early prediction on the time Lori, Dosh and I spend in Hong Kong.  We will thoroughly enjoy our time here, embrace the differences and similarities of the people and experiences we encounter, and enjoy this adventure.  But we will be excited for the return home.  It’s important to have a place to call home and we are lucky and blessed with the home we have in Minneapolis.  This includes the physical house on 3732 24^th Ave S; but more importantly the people that make up our family, friends and community of support.  Thanks for the love from miles away, it is felt.

 

An outstanding team at Target India, it was sad to leave this group of friends!

 



Goodbye Guitar Cake

 



Hong Kong City Skyline

 





The Nature of Hong Kong



New Food to Discover - BBQ Pork Buns!



Quirky Bangalore.

Some favorite Bangalore observations of culture and idiosyncricies that often make me chuckle...and at times flustered....or both...

1. Nobody has change. Coffee shops, chai stands, grocery stores, pharmacies, you name it. Even if the bill is 18 rupees and you had the guy a 20 rupee note, they ask- "Do you have change?"
2. "Have you had your lunch?" No matter the time of day a common small talk is not, "How are you?" or "How about this weather?" but "Have you had your lunch?" My favorite time someone asked me this was at 6:30 pm. um yup, had lunch.
3. Plastic bags are called carry bags. Take out containers are parcels. Take out is take away.
4. White sugar. It abounds in every tea coffee or dessert. so so sweet. I must admit, I miss the global conglamurent of Starbuck's. I don't need venti, tall, non-fat, skinny, flavor shots, americano, espresso, cappacino, mocha-banana-chocolate frappucinos as options, but a plain coffee with milk would suit me fine.
5. Indian Restaurant menus. It is all to common for indian menus to not only serve Indian, but interesting variations of Italian, Continental and Chinese. Very long menus, most items when ordering are unavailable. Wine list- 30 wines all with detailed tasting notes. Noteably, one or two wines are actually available.
6. Ketchup. Pizza, samosas, and other snacks are almost always served with ketchup packets.
7. "Tell Me." This is a common phrase for "What was it you'd like to ask me.?" This one I love. short, direct and to the point. However, sometimes it is said in the middle of your sentence or question. I am trying to tell you!
8. Trash. I haven't been anywhere else in the world where trash piles are anywhere you wish to create them. no garbage bags. and recycling...well...
9. Laughter yoga. Founded from a gentleman from Bangalore, laughter yoga is sometimes present from a group of men that gather in Cubbon Park. When walking in the morning, they greet one another with a hearty "Ho! HO! Ha HA ha!" Highly entertaining and makes me laugh typically as well. Guess it works!
10. Modes of Transportation. When walking, sauntering slowly is key. If walking fast, even for exercise in the park, people look at you like, "what's the hurry?" However, behind the wheel it is a whole new story- everyone wants to get to where they are going as fast as humanely possible.
11. Horn, Ok, Please. Honking horns is not rude, is not necessarily pushy, or to show aggression. It is a way of life. I am here, thank you. I am driving up the one way street the wrong direction-beep.beep. Most vehicles are tattooed with painted words, "Horn ok."
12. "Do the needful." A common phrase used by Bangaloreans meaning to "please take care of this or so you can do ____." My first time I heard this I was in my yoga class and as we started to do tree pose. the yoga teacher said, "I am going to go to the back of the room so you can do the needful."
13. Playboy bunny. That's right. The insignia is everywhere on shirts, sweaters, caps, cars- men and women both wear it like it is a Nike symbol. Perhaps the connotation is unknown?
14. Bike law helmet. Law states that motorcycle drivers must wear helmets. However their wives riding saddle side and there three kids wedged in between do not.
15.  Dump Trucks. Some of the most elaborately and beautifully ornate artwork that I have seen in the city is displayed on the dump trucks. Another amazing India paradox.
16. Sidewalk sales. The only place in this world where you can find inflatable pool toys, watermelon stand, and crystal chandeliers for sale on the side of the highway.

Contrary to the hat, I don't even like Krispy Kreme.

 

At least it meets India standards for veg.

 

The Jared of Krispy Kreme?



 

Bangalore's confused helmet laws.

 

One of the many trucks, with extra LOUD horns.



 

 

You're home, I'm home.

Lori is just finishing a Ten Day Vipassana Silent Meditation Course. Yes, you read that right...ten days, no talking.  I'm amazed and proud that she was able to complete this challenge. I don't know much more on how the experience was, other than I just spoke with her as the broke silence this morning, she is doing very well and she returns home tomorrow morning.

Little did I know this ten day experience was just as much for me as it was for her. I had a chance to spend time playing lots of music, reading books, I actually exercised quite a bit (very proud about that one), went out many nights with friends and simply enjoyed some great quiet relaxing time.

I called the office to check on Lori 3 times during the stay. The first time a woman gave a nice report on how she was doing, the second time a guy in the office said 'she's fine.’ As I asked for a bit more details, he said, 'she's very fine'. Well, ok, thank you. It took a conversation with my driver for him to remind me that it is a silent meditation center...they probably don't talk too much. Great point, Imran!

Throughout the last week, I was reminded of how much I love my wife. I spoke with her today for the first time in over 10 days! It was a short, but amazing conversation. It almost felt as if we had just met and I was speaking with her for the second time ever. Needless to say I am so excited to see her tomorrow, excited to be home.

My love for my wife is stronger now than the day we met or even the day we were married. Living away from our home in the US for that past 15 months may be a reason for this bond we have, and it only continues to develop. But what I realized first hand this week is that a home is not a house. Its where your loved ones are. Setting aside the physical space you live in, although comforting; home truly is where your pets, your parents, your sisters your children or your spouse is.

My parents and I visited the Taj Mahal a few weeks back. You can simply feel the love that was put into constructing this monument by walking up, around and through it. This structure was built by Emperor Shah Jahan for his wife, Mumtaz Mahal. It took over 20 years and 20,000 people to complete.  At the site of the Taj there are two tombs, one for Shah and one for Mumtaz, right next to each other. I share this not to be dark or mortal, but perhaps Shan's vision was for the two of them to be side by side for eternity, to be home - forever. The calligraphy at the main gate to the Taj reads:

"O Soul, thou art at rest. Return to the Lord at peace with Him, and He at peace with you."

Setting graves and quotes aside, I'm ecstatic to see my lovely wife tomorrow. I'm excited to be home.

 

 

 

Turning Japenese

I am back in Bangalore after nine days vacation in Japan. We spent four days in Tokyo, one in Mt. Fuji, and four in Kyoto, before coming back to Tokyo for one day. We spent our days touring with our dear friends from Minneapolis (recently turned Austinites and soon to be Chicagoans). It was an experience of a lifetime. I couldn't think of a more exciting way to spend Christmas, my Birthday and New Years in a dream land of soba and sushi. Near the end of our trip, each of the four of us chose a word that we though best described Japan. The results were: "Precise, clean, delicate and unique." 

Precise. Everything had its place. Everyone seemed confident in their roles and with precision went about their daily lives, whether quickly and precisely boarding the subway (which always arrived and departed on time) or never daring to break a rule as a pedestrian. After living in Bangalore for a year, in which rules are usually soft  in form and are meant to be broken, I needed someone to literally hold me back from crossing the street until the traffic lights changed. No frogger walking here.

Clean. This goes along with the precision. Garbage men would literally run out of a musical truck and pick up trash. The trash was all neatly piled in bags with a fishing net over it to prevent it from blowing in the wind. A far cry from mornings in Bangalore, where I watch street dogs scattering the unbagged piles of garbage below my window.

Delicate. Women and men here walk and dress with a distinguished delicacy. Words are spoken softly (except for women trying to outsell each other by shouting in shopping malls the day after new year's as we found out!) There is also a few ounces of truth in stereotypes of everything in Japan being delicately small. Hand sewn little toys made to look like sushi in a bento box, little cups of tea, small delicate paintings. Even the Starbucks here has an extra small size for purchase, a step down form the tall. It is called short.

Unique. Japan is like no where else I have ever been. Every store had its own design. Bars and restaurants all felt unique and each to their own. There was nothing that felt cookie-cutter about Tokyo. Every neighborhood had its own, unique identity. Everyone we saw looked like a walking Anthropologie ad, but hardly looked as if they were trying. It was like Anthropologie store comes to Japan for their fashion line. Men and women alike had such a high fashion sense, from young little kids dressed to the nines, to harajuku girls with blue hair and platform shoes.

The one word that is not represented above and yet holds the most positive impact and memories of my trip in japan is Giving. Giving is certainly my love language- I love to give gifts and small tokens of appreciation. My gift giving however, does not hold a candle to the generosity I experienced in Japan. People we met here gave selflessly of their time, meals and gifts. They did not want nor expect anything in return.

Adam's parents stayed in Japan last March. They spent two days with a host family. The same host family opened their arms wide in welcoming to us. They picked us up at 10:30 pm from the airport and came the next day to provide us with a driving tour of the city- treating us to a lavish Japanese lunch, and searching out and bringing us to a Christian church for Christmas mass. This was on the host dad's far and few between vacation days- Japanese hold very long working hours, 12 to 14 hour days, and the host dad took one of his few days to spend with us.

Four years ago, Adam and I met a kind young Japanese lady on a boat on our honeymoon going from Salt Spring Island to Vancouver Island. Adam and I felt an immediate connection to her and we talked for the hour of the ferry ride. We took a photo and exchanged emails. Two years later, I was cleaning out my car in Minneapolis (yes, this is how often the car was cleaned) and I found a card with her contact information on it. So, I facebooked her our picture and said it had been nice meeting her. Two more years go by without any communication and we are planning our trip to Japan. I decided to take the risk and contact her and tell her we would be coming to Tokyo. She immediately responded saying she wanted to meet up. Without hesitation, she drove to meet us near Mt. Fuji, brought groceries for us, showed us Mt. Fuji, and cooked us a traditional Japanese hot pot meal. I couldn't believe her generosity and gift of compassion, love and time. I don't know if I have ever met someone who better exemplified the saying "she wears her heart on her sleeve." Giving and kindness abounded.

On New Years Eve, It is tradition in the local shrines and temples, for everyone to gather together and ring in or (at the shrine we were at) drum in the new year. We all stood in front of a temple, not knowing what to expect at the end of the countdown. "san, ni, ichi...." and all of a sudden gold coins and money were being thrown at the temple. (Guess no one was concerned of giving a concussion with a flying coin to the back of the head!) Freely giving money, flying through the air....it was quite the unique experience.

Adam and I had heard about Japanese people being giving, so we brought gifts to thank those who hosted us. Adam and I spent several hours at an onsen-a local hot spring- relaxing our tired muscles from the chilly air. Upon leaving, I wanted to give a small token and gift from India to the lady at the desk who kindly showed us how to manage the onsen experience  She was so taken aback by the small gift, she bowed and smiled repeatedly and then rushed over to the display of gifts for sale and took two of the shelves and rushed over to us and presented us with a gift in return. Apparently, for many in Japan it is truly in giving and not receiving in which one is fulfilled.

This is a a lesson I hope to take with me into 2013 and beyond. to turn Japanese  in a sense of giving of myself and my gifts to this world. To practice unabashedly giving kindness to others. As I sip my yogi tea (imported from the U.S)- I read the little message on my tea bag- it says, "the art of happiness is to serve others." Japan, you've got this one down. With so much happiness and the consumption of so much healthy fish oil and omegas and cycling everywhere, no wonder why life expectancy is so high.

Thank you Japan for giving me a gift of new insight that I can carry into the new year.

kotoshi mo yoroshiku o-negai-shimasu (今年もよろしくお願いします)
 (I hope for your favour again in the coming year)

Merry Christmas from Japan!

Our host family for the day!

Happy with a very Zen meal- japan risotto!

Mt. Fuji and hubs

Gorgeous views in Tokyo Imperial Gardens

The four of us. Unique, Precise, Clean and Delicate.

Reuniting old friends!

handsome hubs with Starbucks in hand. Going  for the venti...what's with the short stuff??